Sometimes The Vernacular Makes Me Itchy.

I remember the first time I wrote about itchy dogs, about 20 years ago, the thing to say was "Oh my God." As in, "From the brown stain on his feet, it looks like he's been licking them." and the reply, "OH my GAWD!" does he ever lick them." And I might suggest rinsing his feet off with water each time he comes in from the back yard. The reply might be "Cool."

Inflection is everything in these little phrases. "Oh... My... God...!" for example. It is now cool to use a little musical lilt and say "cool" with a subtle rise and fall in pitch.

In the old days skepticism was popularly expressed with "I'm SURE" or "I'm so sure." Agreement, over the years, has come from "Far Out!" to "Exactly," "Absolutely," and "Awesome." If someone said "No Way!" the cool response might be "Yes Way!!" Now it's de rigueur to hold one hand up to your ear holding an imaginary cell phone, the little finger posing as microphone, with a monologue - "I was like, ' Your dog's itching?' and she goes ' Oh Boy' and I go 'He might have fleas!' and she was like, ' Well, duh!!' or "Ya Think?"

First, rule out fleas. Check for them with a fine toothed "flea comb," either from your vet or the pet store. The best way by far to get rid of fleas is with one of the "big four" products, Advantage, Frontline, Revolution, or Program. Some of these are available without a prescription. Most other products are ineffective and/or dangerous. Be especially wary of other "spot on" products, especially in cats.

Allergy is a very common cause of itching. Allergies may develop over time with repeated exposure, to things in the air, grass, or food - especially protein. No single blood test will diagnose allergy. It is a "clinical diagnosis" - your veterinarian will consider the age and breed of the patient, the history and symptoms, and other factors, and perhaps do some lab tests to rule out other possibilities, before diagnosing allergy.

Mange can cause itching. It is diagnosed with skin scrapings. Your veterinarian will use a scalpel blade to scrape the surface of the itchy skin and make slide to examine under the microscope. Hope for mange, because it is generally much easier to treat than an allergy.

It may be important to rule out ringworm. That doesn't usually cause itching, but it can, and is contagious to other pets and people. If it gets into carpets and bedding it may be hard to get rid of. A simple culture will tell in a few days if it's ringworm.

Food allergies are hard to rule out. An allergy may develop after years on the same food. The most likely culprit is the protein, like beef or chicken. Wheat and corn products can cause allergies. To find out you have to try a new diet, like duck and potato, for example, for up to 3 months, and see if the itching goes away.

If it is an allergy to something in the air, antihistamines may help. That would be "awesome" because they are safe and cheap. If the problem can be managed with low, intermittent doses of steroids, that would be "sweet." In some cases, custom made allergy shots may be needed, or the risks and side effects of higher doses of steroids may have to be balanced against the itching, or a more expensive drug, cyclosporine, may be needed. "Oh Boy" you're thinking, "That sucks." But, as they've been saying lately, "There you go."